Funnier Little Fellas

by Matt Clark

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about

As heard on Spare the Rock, Gooney Bird Kids Radio, The Saturday Morning Cereal Bowl, Zooglobble Radio, and Pre-School Radio.

"The songs are great vignettes of life with kids, funny little moments enshrined in song." - Oregon Music News

"A nice mix of country, blues, pop, and even rap."
- National Children's Entertainment

"I have the song "Tickle Bees" memorized word for word. The kids made me put it on repeat for a three hour drive.
- The Opinionated Parent

credits

released August 28, 2010

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Track Name: Everybody's Got a Name
Can I tell you something strange? Everybody has a name. It’s strange, but everybody has a name.

The guy at the grocery has a name.
I don’t know it, but he’s got one just the same.
Every Doe, John or Jane, has a name, or so they claim.
It’s strange but everybody has a name.

My Nini and my Lola both have names.
Elise, Aunt Brin, Malia all have names.
Sometimes before I sleep, I catalogue my peeps,
I can’t refrain because their names are on my brain.

There’s Monica, there’s Mary, there’s even Puddentane.
Uncle Craig and Uncle Craig, whose names are just the same.
Track Name: Little Parrot
I’m a little parrot. Be careful not to swear.
It will be repeated. I guarantee it.
A warning to all parents.

Watch what you say,
You’ll hear it again someday.

I’m a mynah bird. There is no finer word
Than the one that comes out unbidden,
And Daddy then wishes he’d kept it hidden
Before it had been heard.
Track Name: Why, Tough Guy?
Oh yeah, tough guy? Why?
I’ll ask you why ‘til you want to cry.
I’ll ask why high. I’ll ask why low.
I’ll keep asking why when you just don’t know.
I’m serious about being curious.
And if I can’t ask you why,
How will I ever be a wise guy?

I’ll ask you why our car is blue.
And why that picture is of me and not you.
Just when you’re tearing out your hair,
I’ll ask you what and I’ll ask you where.
Don’t be furious, I’m just curious.

I’ll ask you why incessantly, relentlessly, religiously, prodigiously,
As you can see, I’m serious about being curious.
And if I can’t ask you why,
How will I ever be a wise guy?
Track Name: Swing or Slide?
The perennial question: swing or slide?
Not the easiest thing to decide.
The swing has merits, being hypnotic.
The slide makes your hair stand on end with static.
And what about the teeter totter?
Should it be considered?
It absolutely oughtta.
The monkey bars are quite fun too.
But the question returns to swing or slide.
Not the easiest thing to decide.
Track Name: Tickle Bees
How do the tickle bees make their honey?
Everybody knows it’s by tickling your tummy.
That’s where they go. How do they get in?
That’s an easy question. By tickling your chin.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
All that a tickle bee does
Is tickle your middle ‘til you giggle

Where do the tickle bees go when they swarm?
If I had to take a guess, I’d say under your arm.
That’s where they go. How do they get in?
Everybody knows they go under your chin.
Track Name: Sitting Up Straight
I’m sitting up straight, and I’m seeing with a new point of view.
I’m using both hands. I’m picking up the things I always wanted to before.
I’m further away from the floor.

I’m eating solid foods. I have my own set of real plastic spoons.
I’ll be chasing the cats, as soon as I can move from room to room.
I’m not crawling yet, but I will be soon.
Man, oh man, how I’ll zoom!

I’m making up new words,
Words that have never been heard by a human before,
Words that are longer than a dinosaur,
Words you couldn’t buy in any store.
Track Name: Swaddle Houdini
Like a germ with a quarantine, a bottle for a genie
We’re trying to contain this swaddle Houdini.
Enclosed in a package like a little tortellini
He’s gonna break free, he’s a swaddle Houdini.

Tangled up worse than a bureaucrat’s red tape,
Can’t last long, he’s bound to escape.

Arm’s spinning wild like the prop on a beanie,
Nothing gonna stop this swaddle Houdini.
Like the yellow submarine and a bunch of blue meanies
He’s gonna get away, he’s the swaddle Houdini.
Track Name: Tantrum
When they serve you up milk, but you wanted juice,
The answer is a tantrum.
When they strap you in your stroller, and you want to run loose,
Tantrum, tantrum, tantrum.
A tantrum is good for almost anything,
The perfect way to pull on your parents’ strings.
They want your indoor voice, and you want to sing,
Well, grant them with a tantrum.

Tantrum, tantrum, tantrum,
It almost sounds like a mantra.
You just want to cry and yell and kick and scream;
The answer is a tantrum.

They ask you to go to bed, but you want to stay awake.
The answer is a tantrum.
Instead of eating squash, why don’t you let me eat cake?
If not, I’ll throw a tantrum.
A tantrum may help you to get what you want,
Though it’s something that your parents will consider an affront.
Wreak a lot of havoc , someone else will bear the brunt
With a tantrum, tantrum, tantrum.
Track Name: Talking Sharing Blues
Now you and I will get along just fine
As soon as you acknowledge these toys are mine.
I hope that I’m making it apparent that I don’t like sharing.

I’m a guy who knows his likes and wants.
And though I can’t play with all these toys at once,
I absolutely positively will not be sharing.

I don’t like sharing. No, I don’t like sharing.
By now you’re aware that I don’t much care to share.
They say you need to share to grow.
They say that’s sharing’s good for the soul,
But I am only two years old and I just don’t like to share.

My parents, of course, will make a fuss,
But that never made a guy more generous.
You know the refrain by now.

Then again, if a friend was sad,
And wanted a toy that I had,
If I could ease that person’s mind,
By giving him something of mine,
I just might share.
To be fair, and to show that I care,
I just might share.

They say that sharing’s good for friends.
They say that sharing pays dividends.
What I’ll say as this song ends is
I just might share.
Track Name: Band-Aid
I’m wearing a band-aid. I’d like to show it to you.
If you wanted a band-aid, you could have one too.
This band-aid’s sticking to my finger
Cuz that’s what band-aids do.

I’ve got an owie, which should be plain to see.
Before I put on a band-aid, I was in misery.
You say that I am stuck on band-aids,
But this band-aid’s stuck to me.

Though it’s too small to see with the eye unaided,
No kiss is going to make it better.
This finger’s slated to be band-aided
Or we’re in for stormy weather.
Track Name: Hey, Quilly Bee
Hey Quilly Bee, are you looking at me?
Eyes open wide with so much to see.
Do you know how much I love to hold you?
Looking at you, looking at me.

Hey Quilly Bee, are you smiling at me?
Twinkle in your eye that I love to see.
Do you know how much I love to hold you?
Looking at you, smiling at me.
Track Name: My Big Brother
My big brother is like no other,
The way he smothers me with hugs.
There’s no debating,
He’s fascinating.
I watch everything he does.

Brother, I’d have no other,
Even if I had my druthers.
Brother, my big brother,
We share the same father and mother.
Track Name: Pump Up the Jammies
Pump up the jammies. It’s jammer time.
The hour before bed that it takes us to unwind.
We take our fluoride drops and we brush our teeth.
Drink milk, read books, sing songs,
And then we go to sleep.
Jammer time. Pump up the jammies,
The rituals are different in different families.
Track Name: Burris the Bat
Burris was a bat, and he lived in a barn.
Way up in the rafters where it’s always warm.
Unlike other bats, Burris had a little quirk.
Burris was afraid of the dark.

Almost every bat loves to stay up late.
The dark is the perfect time to echolocate.
Though our friend, Burris could catch bugs with the best,
Night is when he wanted to rest.

Burris couldn’t sleep,
The dark gave him the creeps.
So let’s turn on the nightlight for Burris

Turn on the nightlight for Burris the bat
He’s frightened of the dark,
But there’s nothing wrong with that.
He could fall asleep in five second flat,
If we’d turn on the nightlight for Burris.