Toothpaste Beard

by Matt Clark

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about

When I was a lad, my cheeks were as smooth
As the polished enamel of a pearly white tooth.
Standing at the sink, I started to drool
Colgate on my chin, my family all were fooled.

I've got a toothpaste beard
And it looks pretty weird
White flecks on the mirror
I'd say it adds thirty years . . . my toothpaste beard

This fluoridated goatee is really growing on me.
Is it too foamy for me?
Well, let's just wait and see . . .with my toothpaste beard

My dental hygiene headed south
Til I started foamin' at the mouth
Grew a toothpaste beard

Looks like I've aged overnight
And my teeth are so white
Grow whatever you like
Fu Manchu or Van Dyke, for your toothpaste beard.

credits

released October 11, 2016

Matt Clark: Guitar, Bass, Vocals
Rowan Clark: Vocals
Quillan Clark: Inspiration (he grew the first toothpaste beard)
Wilmer Huiracocha: Oboe
Produced by Wilmer Huiracocha in Loja Ecuador

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Matt Clark Portland

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Track Name: Toothpaste Beard
When I was a lad, my cheeks were as smooth
As the polished enamel of a pearly-white tooth.
Standing at the sink, I started to drool
Colgate on my chin, my family all were fooled.

I've got a toothpaste beard
And it looks pretty weird
White flecks on the mirror
I'd say it adds thirty years . . . my toothpaste beard.

This fluoridated goatee is really growing on me.
Is it too foamy for me?
Well, let's just wait and see . . . with my toothpaste beard.

My dental hygiene headed south til I started foaming at the mouth.

Seems like I've aged overnight
And my teeth are so white.
Grow whatever you like,
Fu Manchu or Van Dyke . . . for your toothpaste beard.
Track Name: Loja Helado
I live in a town where the garbage trucks sing
It's a curious thing when the garbage truck sing
They remind you to take out your trash
Just don't get confused and take out your cash
Hoping to buy an ice cream.

Helado, te amo
Cada vez que te lamo.
Just don't get confused when the garbage trucks sing
And you're hoping to buy an ice cream.

I live in a town where the water trucks sing
They're selling bidones and gas
Just don't wave them down whenever they pass
And you're trying to buy an ice cream

Helado, te amo.
Abby just bought a charango.
Track Name: Vulcan Haircut
My mother always says to us that scissors aren't a toy
But my brother cut my hair to look like Leonard Nimoy
The only thing I'm missing now are long and pointy ears
Then I could join The Enterprise and leave the earth for years.

I've got a Vulcan haircut, my mom will have a shock
When she comes home from work to find I look like Mr. Spock
To cut my hair and boldly go where no kid's gone before
I've got a Vulcan haircut and I'm barely even four.

A friendly Klingon says to me, "Your haircut need some work"
My barber tries to fix it, make me look like Captain Kirk
Beaming up my bangs, now they're gone without a trace
I've got a Vulcan haircut and I'm set for outer space