When I was a lad, my cheeks were as smooth
As the polished enamel of a pearly-white tooth.
Standing at the sink, I started to drool
Colgate on my chin, my family all were fooled.
I've got a toothpaste beard
And it looks pretty weird
White flecks on the mirror
I'd say it adds thirty years . . . my toothpaste beard.
This fluoridated goatee is really growing on me.
Is it too foamy for me?
Well, let's just wait and see . . . with my toothpaste beard.
My dental hygiene headed south til I started foaming at the mouth.
Seems like I've aged overnight
And my teeth are so white.
Grow whatever you like,
Fu Manchu or Van Dyke . . . for your toothpaste beard.
credits
from Toothpaste Beard,
released October 11, 2016
Matt Clark: Guitar, bass, vocals
Rowan Clark: Vocals
Quillan Clark: Inspiration (grew the first toothpaste beard)
Produced by Wilmer Huiracocha in Loja, Ecuador
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